SMART GIRL SECRET #1 NEVER, EVER, EVER CALL HIM

NEVER CALL.

 

Never, ever, ever call. It’s really that simple. Don’t. Ever. Call. You’re going to want to call. You’re going to ask your friends if you should call. You’re going to ask your mother if you should call. They’re going to say yes. But you are NOT going to call. If you’re a Smart Girl and you follow the Smart Girl Rules, you just won’t ever have to.

If he wants to, he will call you. If he calls you and you don’t answer, he will call you again. If he calls and the call got disconnected, he will call you back – if he wants to. If he wants to, he will call. If he doesn’t call, he doesn’t want to call.

 

THE TRICK! THE TRICK IS SO IMPORTANT. The trick relates to every single Smart Girl Rule. When you do communicate with him, be it by phone, message, update status, Instagram, and so on, BE SUPER SWEET. Be flirtatious, be warm, be funny, be charismatic, be relaxed, and be kind. DON’T BE COLD.

Honestly, if you ever forget any of the Smart Girl Rules, don’t let it EVER be Rule #1. NEVER CALL. No matter what you may think, no matter how many times he’s called first, no matter what—do not call him. Trust me, it works! I know from personal experience. If he really wants you, he will call you.

My mother always says, when a man truly wants something, he will do whatever it takes to get it. I know you feel sorry for him when he has to lift his heavy iPhone (actually, the X plus is massive), unlock the screen with meticulous effort, dial an entire set of 10 digits, and then move his whole arm towards his precious ear to call you. But I promise, he’s a big boy. He can handle it.

You may be reading this and asking WHY.

WHY SHOULDN’T I EVER CALL HIM?

 

So here’s my answer. First, this will all be much easier if you don’t question me and instead just follow the Smart Girl Rules. Then again, the woman reading this most likely isn’t one to sit still, look pretty and never question, and for that I am grateful.

 So, here’s why you shouldn’t call: When you call a guy, it means that you want him. It automatically shows him that you’re willing to make the effort to call, that you thought about him before calling (which means you care), that you’re really not that busy, and that you’re impatient.

Not only is this true, but also, if he’s not calling you, it’s probably because a) he doesn’t feel like it, or b) he’s busy. If you call him, he’s probably in the middle of doing something, which just puts you in an awkward situation and makes it even more obvious as to why you shouldn’t have called in the first place.

Think about it: if he’s in the middle of doing something, he’ll probably get off the phone before you do (which is breaking another rule; you should always end the conversation first), and you’ll be anxious all day, waiting for him to call you back. All of this could have been avoided if you had just been patient and didn’t call. So, bottom line: don’t ever call.

WHAT IS SO BAD ABOUT HIM KNOWING THAT I WANT HIM?

In the beginning of a relationship, men need at least a little bit of a challenge. There is absolutely no way around this fact. He can’t KNOW you are interested. He can THINK you are interested, he can HOPE you are interested, he can even ASSUME you are interested. But he can’t KNOW. The second a guy KNOWS you are interested, he is no longer interested himself.

So, if you don’t ever call him, how on earth will he ever know you are interested in him? THIS is why THE TRICK is so unbelievably important. YOU don’t call, but when HE does, you are extremely kind, warm and funny. You definitely want to see him, you just didn’t have time to call.

SMART GIRL PERSONAL STORY ALERT!

 

When I was first dating James, the man who is now my ex, he wasn’t in love with me. And, you guessed it: I wasn’t following any of the Smart Girl Rules, especially not RULE #1 NEVER CALL. I would call him sometimes, he would call me, and whenever he wanted to do something—I was free.

But of course he didn’t want me. Why? BECAUSE I CALLED. And then, he KNEW he had me in the palm of his farmer boy hand.

There was no chase, no challenge, no nothing. The fact that I called showed him how often I was thinking of him, how much of a priority he was to me, and that turned him off. It was all too easy for him.

When he broke up with me for the first time, he said that “something was missing.” That breakup tore me to pieces, left me sobbing and eating Ben& Jerry’s fudge brownie ice cream in front of the TV, but that’s when I realized things had to change.

I just wasn’t sure what.

After the breakup, I continued to call James every once in a while, only when I honestly felt like I couldn’t handle it any longer and absolutely needed to hear his voice. Every time I would call, he KNEW that I was still his. Until one day I decided to experiment.

That’s it. I’m not calling him for a month, I told myself. No matter what.

And so it all began.

Long story short, I didn’t call for a month and I went from being obsessive to being obsessed over. The first week, he didn’t call, and I cried. A lot. The second week, the calls started coming in every once in a while, and I wouldn’t pick up every time. By the third week, he would call every day, and by the fourth, he was begging we would get back together. All because I didn’t call.  All because I followed the Smart Girl Rules.

James was the guy who would never call me back, who always had other things to do, who didn’t make plans in advance. And me? I was the girl who waited by the phone, called him to see if “everything was okay,” and continually made up excuses for why he acted the way he did.

But now, the guy who never bought me flowers turned into the man who proposed to me at Central Park with a gorgeous diamond (oops – I broke up with him but that’s an entirely different story – some relationships can’t be saved). The point is, this miraculous transformation didn’t happen by itself. It occurred the second I stopped calling, the second I started being a Smart Girl and simultaneously expressing my self-worth through my actions.

So remember Smart Girls, when a man really wants you, he will do whatever it takes to be with you.

If a man really wants you, he will call. And you won’t have to.

Kisses,

Smart Girl