If it can happen to her, it can happen to any of us.
Well, loves, I’ve got great news. The sultriest, sexiest, most monotonous MILF around – Kourtney Kardashian – is no longer knee-deep in a relationship with a total douche. Her 25-year-old ex-boyfriend may sport an insanely sexy pout and an unreal 30 pack 6 pack, but, let’s face it, Younes Bendjima is a controlling boyfriend that was totally abusing our least exciting? favorite Kardashian.
1) SHE WAS ANXIOUS AND CRYING ALL THE TIME
Hello, am I the only one that’s noticed how Kourtney’s been constantly crying on the new season of KUWTK? Kourtney? Crying? Everyone knows she’s the least expressive b*tch on earth after Victoria Beckham, if she ever spoke. Even when Scott used to come home drunk and punching mirrors, Kourtney conveyed as much emotion as I do when my boss calls and I have to act disinterested so he’ll never call me after work again. If Kourtney’s using her Balenciaga sweater sleeve to wipe her tears, something’s wrong, and – thank goddess she’s figured it out – all fingers point to Younes.
2) SHE WAS PROJECTING HER EMOTIONS ONTO HER FAMILY
I know, it was so not okay for Kim to call Kourtney “the least exciting to look at” in the recent episode of KUWTK, but, in Kim’s defense, she was just mad. Think of the cruel things you say to your siblings when they piss you off, or don’t. But Kourtney’s response to Kim was total projection: “I’m not going to be with people that bring me down on a daily basis and criticize if I’m this, if I’m that – I’m just doing my best.”
Um, last time I checked, Kim just wanted Kourtney to change her schedule for the Christmas card photo-shoot. Projection much? Looks to me like Younes was the one bringing Kourtney down on a daily basis, stressing her out, distancing her from her family, and making her feel crazy – while she projected it on Kim instead.
3) YOUNES PUBLICLY SLUT-SHAMED KOURTNEY
Let’s all go back to July – which lasted literally 3 seconds btw – when Kourtney posted a classic sit-on-your-knees-booty-shot looking like the hot MILF that she is. Okay, so she’s wearing a thong bikini and her perfectly sculpted Dr. Ourian ass is the star of the picture, but who cares? If you’re uncomfortable with a butt pic you should probably just get off of Instagram. It seems like Younes should delete his, because apparently he was offended – commenting on the picture and then deleting his comment, criticizing Kourtney’s hunger for likes. Totally unacceptable, Youn (is there even a nickname for ‘Younes?’) Whatever, thank goodness for screenshots that prove he’s is an overall jerk.
Is this real life? First of all, Younes, you put up pictures of yourself half naked all the time, so why can’t she? Secondly, its 2018, and Kourtney is a Kardashian. They invented The Butt Pic. That’s like telling Mark Zuckerberg not to use Facebook (even though he probably doesn’t – my Facebook has dust on it – but you get the picture). Lastly, if you have issues with what your girlfriend is posting online, maybe you should, um, IDK, tell her in private rather than slut shame her in front of 65+ million followers??? Just an idea.
But wait, there’s more. Apparently an anonymous source said Kourtney and Younes broke up about her picture-posting in March, when she then deleted her Instagram account. The source told People, “He never liked that she posted sexy pictures of herself…he wants her to post more covered up pictures.” Last time I checked, we’re not in Saudi Arabia. Plus, women can drive there now and the new Saudi prince is, like, open-minded so Younes’ bullsh*t ideas about what women should do are literally outdated everywhere.
Seriously though, the point is, no one should ever try to control what you can and cannot do. Kourtney has been showing signs of emotional abuse – anxious and crying all the time, projecting her feelings on people that really love her, allowing herself to be publicly humiliated by some 25-year-old loser model – and it was literally breaking my heart. TG that’s OVER.
What we can learn from Kourtney, ladies, besides having to work out daily and be a totally hot mom at 38, is to keep our eyes open and – simply put – surround ourselves with people that make us laugh, not cry.