It\u2019s no secret that dating in this millennial age is a never-ending nightmare, especially considering there’s a pandemic going on right outside of our stuffy apartments. The good news is, these rules work for video dates, too. I also have hope that COVID-19 will pass, and that we’ll get back to dating the way we used to – you know, like, in person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why is it that when we think the dates can\u2019t get any worse, they do? Like the time I waited for a guy at a bar and he just didn\u2019t. show. up.<\/strong> Or the date my sister went on with a mama\u2019s boy whose overwhelming mediocracy was directly proportionate to his narcissism. What about the date my BFF went on before we had to social distance, with a guy who promised he was 6\u20192 but was actually, like, 5\u20192 and then had the audacity to text her and say, \u201cthere wasn\u2019t any chemistry?\u201d Or, of course, there are the dates that you think<\/em> went well, and then \u2013 poof! \u2013 he\u2019s gone – and you find yourself ghosted by yet another f*ckboy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t care if you\u2019re a Victoria\u2019s Secret Model (yes, I realize I\u2019m a masochist for following them on Instagram) or a regular girl who loves eating pizza in her pajamas while watching 90 Day Fianc\u00e9 \u2013 we all deserve to go out on a first date and AT LEAST be able to decide if we want a second one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Keeping the hope alive that you\u2019ll one day find a guy who\u2019s smart, funny, I know, I know, you\u2019re like, duh! But I\u2019m not talking regular eye contact. I mean like look deeply into his eyes when he talks and don\u2019t be afraid to smize (smile with your eyes, for those of us who live under a rock and haven\u2019t heard Tyra Banks overuse the term on America\u2019s Next Top Model). I am a woman (and a normal human being) so I am a feminist in every way, but that doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t know that men are physical beings and we, as women, have the power to use that to our advantage. Eye contact shows that you have confidence, and in the end, that\u2019s one of the most attractive qualities we can attain. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n FIND AN EXCUSE TO TOUCH HIM: Let\u2019s make something very clear \u2013 I don\u2019t mean be super touchy in inappropriate areas on a first date. I mean show him your sensuality by gently putting your hand on his leg while giggling when he says something funny. Or squeeze his arm gently and if he teases you. Don\u2019t overdo it, though, you know? But make him see that you\u2019re warm and loving and touchy as opposed to\u2026oh, idk, the cold heartless b*tch the dating world is slowly turning us into. <\/p>\n\n\n\n VIDEO DATE MODIFICATION – SHOW SOME SKIN: I know we’ve been spending the past two weeks in old pajamas, and that’s totally okay considering the circumstances. But if you’re going on a video date, treat it like an in-person date, and show some skin. Obviously still be classy, though. Physicality works through the screen, so if you know you’re about to click that green connect button to video with the guy you met on Hinge, make sure you look not only presentable, but pretty hot. Find the good lighting, that little dab of an old half-melted cherry chapstick, and wear a cute top that shows your curves, k? Don’t worry, when you hang up you can change right back into your brother’s old high school lacrosse team sweatshirt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ladies, ladies, ladies. This one\u2019s for the books. It\u2019s SO easy because all you literally have to do is listen to him talk about himself. I know you want everything to be about you and for you to be the center of attention, and that will happen \u2013 LATER. Just be patient. First, though, in order to secure another date, you need to make the first few dates about him. If you spend the entire first date asking him about vacations he\u2019s been on, about his family, his job, his education, he\u2019ll have the best time ever because he\u2019ll be talking about HIMSELF. Who doesn\u2019t love talking about themselves? If I could, I would literally talk about myself all day. Sorry, but before he falls in love with you, he doesn\u2019t care about your kitten or about how rude one of the bridesmaids were at your best friend\u2019s wedding. Instead, if he spends the whole date talking about himself while you sip on your Sauvignon, he\u2019ll go home thinking, \u201cWow, what a great date!\u201d Of course it was, honey, you talked about yourself the whole time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t be that annoying girl with the high-pitched laugh that exaggerates every reaction \u2013 aka Alayah from the Bachelor. But DO be the girl that\u2019s super bubbly and nice and laughs at his jokes even when they kind of suck. If you\u2019re reading this blog, you\u2019re a Smart Girl, which means you\u2019ll probably be smarter than most of the guys you go on dates with. If you\u2019re smarter than him, you\u2019re also probably funnier than him, because everyone knows that intelligence and humor go hand-in-hand. That\u2019s why my advice is to laugh at most of what he says anyway. He\u2019ll feel good about himself, and that\u2019s what we want. We want him to go home and feel good because if he does, he\u2019ll want to be around whatever it is that made him feel good. And that, he\u2019ll come to realize, is you. THEN you can choose if you want to go on a second date or not. The ball will be in your court.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It sounds clich\u00e9, I know, but I\u2019m serious. If you love yourself unconditionally, it\u2019ll be even easier for someone else to love you, too. Think about some of the thoughts that go through your mind about yourself and stop that negative sh*t. Talk kindly to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love SO MUCH. Like your little sisters. Or your kitten. You wouldn\u2019t compare your kitten to said Victoria\u2019s secret models, would you? Don\u2019t beat yourself up about the ways in which you feel like you\u2019re not good enough. That\u2019s cruel, and Smart Girls are NOT cruel. I really do think that the more you value yourself and invest in what makes you feel good, the healthier partners you\u2019ll attract. So, don\u2019t just settle for whatever you can get. Remember that whether you want something serious or a casual fling, we Smart Girls deserve a relationship that simply makes us happy. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It\u2019s no secret that dating in this millennial age is a never-ending nightmare, especially considering there’s a pandemic going on right outside of our stuffy apartments. The good news is,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":446,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,11,5],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-414","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-dating","8":"category-questions-and-answers","9":"category-relationships"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/Dating--scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1920","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pdbe0r-6G","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/414","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=414"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/414\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":434,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/414\/revisions\/434"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=414"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=414"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=414"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}rich<\/s> comes from a good family, ambitious, and good looking (is that too much to ask?) can be a lot. I don\u2019t know if I can magically make your Prince Charming appear, but lucky for you, if a miracle happens and he does, these Smart Girl rules will guarantee a second date, even if it’s on FaceTime for now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n1. MAKE EYE CONTACT<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. FIND AN EXCUSE TO TOUCH HIM (OR, IF IT’S A VIDEO DATE, SHOW SOME SKIN)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. ASK HIM ABOUT HIMSELF<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. LAUGH AT ALL OF HIS JOKES<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. LOVE YOURSELF AND DON’T JUST TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET<\/h3>\n\n\n\n