{"id":460,"date":"2020-09-15T12:27:12","date_gmt":"2020-09-15T12:27:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/?p=460"},"modified":"2021-01-08T02:24:06","modified_gmt":"2021-01-08T02:24:06","slug":"the-four-date-rule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/the-four-date-rule\/","title":{"rendered":"THE FOUR-DATE RULE"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good morning, Smart Girls, and wake up. I know we\u2019re all stuck in our one-bedroom apartments, unless you have a Sugar Daddy that\u2019s paying for a villa with a pool, and in that case, kudos to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Coronavirus has changed dating – for better in some ways, and for worse in others. First off, dating during Corona means actually talking rather than heading straight to his grimy-ass bed<\/s> ocean of satin sheets, right? On the other hand, we\u2019re kind of freaked out to meet face-to-face most of the time, and Zoom dates are So. Fucking. Awkward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point is, just because there\u2019s a national pandemic that doesn\u2019t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, it doesn\u2019t mean we have to stop dating and put our love lives on hold. I know Corona is a great excuse to lay around in our spaghetti-stained sweatpants all day, but I\u2019m here to tell you that dating during Corona can actually be an opportunity to meet the love of your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But only, and I repeat, only, if you follow the FOUR DATE RULE.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I keep getting THE SAME question lately: I\u2019ve been dating this guy and he\u2019s really sweet and nice, but I just don\u2019t feel that spark. What should I do?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My answer is simple:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GIVE IT FOUR DATES. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not your grandma, or your mother, or your aunt, and I\u2019m not here to force you into dating the nerdy guy you could never imagine a night of incredible sex with, but I am here to tell you that sometimes, all you need to fall in love is to give it TIME. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When one of my best friends, Lizzy, met her fianc\u00e9 almost three years ago, he was standing with his arms crossed on the great green expanse of the university campus. She saw him from a few feet away, a mysterious smile plastered onto his face, his brown hair glistening in the California breeze. And then, Lizzy looked over at another guy standing near him, super tan and as tall as an NBA player. A few seconds later, her gaze drifted to a different guy standing nearby wearing a hoodie and a backwards hat. If you don\u2019t get what I\u2019m trying to say, it\u2019s that Lizzy was interested in a lot<\/em> of different guys when she was a freshman, and while her future fianc\u00e9 was one of them, he wasn\u2019t the only one. When they started dating, she thought he was sweet and kind, but she wasn\u2019t head over heels in passionate lust. She talked to me about it, and said that she wasn\u2019t sure she felt the spark. Until the fourth date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It takes TIME to get to know someone, to watch as their walls crumble, to wait for them to open up and let you into their hearts. This isn\u2019t Instagram or Tik Tok, where we scroll through and skip videos that we aren\u2019t interested in after just a few seconds. You can\u2019t feel a spark unless you give it time. So stop telling me there\u2019s no spark. Give it a chance \u2013 FOUR DATES is all I ask – and it will come. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If, after four dates, you\u2019re still totally over it, then move on to the next guy. But don\u2019t give up after a date or two or three. For my best friend, it took FOUR DATES (a date a week for a month) to see that this guy was actually everything she ever wanted. A month! And now she\u2019s engaged to him and could never see herself with anyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

RULES ABOUT THE FOUR DATE RULE:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. 1-3 HOURS LONG. Each date should be at least an hour long but no more than three hours long.
    <\/li>
  2. SWITCH UP THE SETTING. Ideally, the dates will take place in different places \u2013 the park, an outdoor restaurant, his apartment (ONLY if it\u2019s the fourth date).
    <\/li>
  3. DRINK ON ZOOM. If you\u2019re Zoom dating, bring a DRINK and tell him to bring one too. Seriously, there\u2019s no other way to get through a Zoom date unless you\u2019re downing a glass of wine.
    <\/li>
  4. END THE DATE FIRST. You better be the one saying you\u2019re tired and that it\u2019s time to go home or hang up. I don\u2019t care if you like him yet or not. Always leave him wanting more. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    You\u2019re welcome\nSmart Girls. Thank me later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Xo, Smart Girl Knows<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Stop saying there’s no spark. Give it time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6352,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-460","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-dating"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_8340-1.jpg?fit=756%2C944","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pdbe0r-7q","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=460"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6353,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/460\/revisions\/6353"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6352"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/smartgirlknows.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}