Good morning, Smart Girls, and wake up. I know we’re all stuck in our one-bedroom apartments, unless you have a Sugar Daddy that’s paying for a villa with a pool, and in that case, kudos to you.
Coronavirus has changed dating – for better in some ways, and for worse in others. First off, dating during Corona means actually talking rather than heading straight to his grimy-ass bed ocean of satin sheets, right? On the other hand, we’re kind of freaked out to meet face-to-face most of the time, and Zoom dates are So. Fucking. Awkward.
The point is, just because there’s a national pandemic that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, it doesn’t mean we have to stop dating and put our love lives on hold. I know Corona is a great excuse to lay around in our spaghetti-stained sweatpants all day, but I’m here to tell you that dating during Corona can actually be an opportunity to meet the love of your life.
But only, and I repeat, only, if you follow the FOUR DATE RULE.
I keep getting THE SAME question lately: I’ve been dating this guy and he’s really sweet and nice, but I just don’t feel that spark. What should I do?
My answer is simple:
GIVE IT FOUR DATES.
I’m not your grandma, or your mother, or your aunt, and I’m not here to force you into dating the nerdy guy you could never imagine a night of incredible sex with, but I am here to tell you that sometimes, all you need to fall in love is to give it TIME.
When one of my best friends, Lizzy, met her fiancé almost three years ago, he was standing with his arms crossed on the great green expanse of the university campus. She saw him from a few feet away, a mysterious smile plastered onto his face, his brown hair glistening in the California breeze. And then, Lizzy looked over at another guy standing near him, super tan and as tall as an NBA player. A few seconds later, her gaze drifted to a different guy standing nearby wearing a hoodie and a backwards hat. If you don’t get what I’m trying to say, it’s that Lizzy was interested in a lot of different guys when she was a freshman, and while her future fiancé was one of them, he wasn’t the only one. When they started dating, she thought he was sweet and kind, but she wasn’t head over heels in passionate lust. She talked to me about it, and said that she wasn’t sure she felt the spark. Until the fourth date.
It takes TIME to get to know someone, to watch as their walls crumble, to wait for them to open up and let you into their hearts. This isn’t Instagram or Tik Tok, where we scroll through and skip videos that we aren’t interested in after just a few seconds. You can’t feel a spark unless you give it time. So stop telling me there’s no spark. Give it a chance – FOUR DATES is all I ask – and it will come.
If, after four dates, you’re still totally over it, then move on to the next guy. But don’t give up after a date or two or three. For my best friend, it took FOUR DATES (a date a week for a month) to see that this guy was actually everything she ever wanted. A month! And now she’s engaged to him and could never see herself with anyone else.
RULES ABOUT THE FOUR DATE RULE:
- 1-3 HOURS LONG. Each date should be at least an hour long but no more than three hours long.
- SWITCH UP THE SETTING. Ideally, the dates will take place in different places – the park, an outdoor restaurant, his apartment (ONLY if it’s the fourth date).
- DRINK ON ZOOM. If you’re Zoom dating, bring a DRINK and tell him to bring one too. Seriously, there’s no other way to get through a Zoom date unless you’re downing a glass of wine.
- END THE DATE FIRST. You better be the one saying you’re tired and that it’s time to go home or hang up. I don’t care if you like him yet or not. Always leave him wanting more.
You’re welcome Smart Girls. Thank me later.
Xo, Smart Girl Knows
Brilliant!!!!